I’m becoming concerned my ability to write sentences longer than 140 characters is being compromised.
Long time no bleat! Partly because I work stupid, stupid hours…and partly because I have nothing to say. Due to the long hours you see, NOTHING HAPPENS. I get in and I’m too tired to do anything other than slump in front of the tv next to my dog, with my phone attached to my face, permanently switched to Twitter.
Speaking of The Twitter, I was bemoaning my lack of motivation a few days back. Tiredness has led to much disorganisation in almost every corner of my life, and I don’t know if it’s contributing to the ruttish feeling that’s starting to settle on me.
So I’ve now got a Life Coach. In a box.
It’s a set of flash cards with motivational activities for different areas of your life, presumably sorting them one by one until you are a shining example of the ultimate organised and dynamic being, achieving everything you always wanted without even trying. Yeah, we’ll see.
Example card in RELATIONSHIPS:
‘Have you ever stopped to think about all the relationships in your life? Take an inventory by drawing a relationship diagram. You will need a large sheet of paper and some coloured markers.’
I can’t draw. Next.
INTENTION:
‘Explore creative ways to express your spiritual beliefs.’
I have none! Will a photo of Charles Darwin saying ‘I told you so’ do??
FINANCE:
‘What holds you back from achieving your goals?’
Lack of money. Are you shitting me with this?
Possibly I have become too cynical and jaded to take this kind of thing seriously. Everything sounds like a Special K advert to me, I’m not one for spinning around in red dresses laughing like a looney tune.
The life coach in a box will very probably go the way of my confidence hypnosis cd, rowing machine, yoga dvd and Learn Spanish In Three Months kit. Into the spare bedroom where it can gather dust and teach me nothing. If only I was motivated enough to use them, things would be different around here.
Maybe a motivational dvd is the answer..
